Wednesday of Holy Week
“Answer me” is the final part of today’s responsorial psalm: “Lord, in your great love, answer me.” Then, the Gospel features the Last Supper and Jesus’ announcement that one of the apostles will betray Him. Judas, along with the others present, asks “Surely, it is not I, Rabbi?” and waits to hear what Jesus responds.
Reflection and self-evaluation are themes during Lent, and questions play a big role in both of these. But who are these questions directed to? Have you ever said the words “Answer me” to someone? A parent might say these words to a child who does not want to answer a question. An anxious student or employee might think these words as they stare at the computer screen and await an important email. Have you ever said these words to God?
I seek confirmation and affirmation daily, especially from peers and friends. “Did you think that test was difficult?” Or, as I recount an exchange from the day, “Do you think I did the right thing?” Usually I know what my own thought is, and I want to check to see if another agrees.
On other occasions, I keep things to myself. I might ask, “Don’t you think what So-and-so did is annoying (mean, weird, etc.)?” Framed a certain way, my confidant will likely agree with me. I may (knowingly or unknowingly) paint the picture in a self-flattering way, without acknowledging my own insecurities and biases. If painted in honesty, the answer is probably that I am the one with a problem.
I think I would benefit from directing more of my questions, especially the tough ones, to God.
Judas asks, “What are you willing to give me?” to the chief priests. In contrast, the Psalm reminds us that “The LORD hears the poor, and his own who are in bonds he spurns not.”
My prayer is to remember to turn to God constantly, even if just to say “What?” or “Why?” And then, I pray for patience, as I plead, “Lord, in your great love, answer me.”
Stephanie Kaefer is a Junior in the College of Education and is involved on campus in the Micah Program and SLU Students for Life.